Couples Therapy

If Your Relationship Is At A Stand-Still, You May Be Wondering What It Will Take To Heal And Move Forward

Are you trapped in a cycle of disconnection, conflict, and betrayal with your partner?

Do you need help communicating and figuring out ways to problem-solve together?

Relationships can be tough—and as the stress increases, so do unhealthy relationship behaviors. Whether you and your partner are quick to arguments, avoidant, or doing things that betray one another’s trust, you probably feel so entangled in a toxic dynamic that you’re not sure if there is a way out.

Now you’re left wondering Are we compatible? Are we in love? Were we ever even in love to begin with? These questions can introduce A LOT of anxiety, making you question your connection, your judgment, and your partner. Overwhelmed by stress and uncertainty, you might think the only thing to do now is give up. You’re stuck, convinced you’ve tried everything possible to make it work. And you can’t help but question if your marriage/long-term relationship has met the end of its rope.

But I am here to tell you that you—and your relationship—are not broken. If cultivating a healthy, loving connection with your partner was intuitive, you would have already done what’s needed to foster positive change!

Luckily, as an experienced couples therapist, I can offer the tools and interventions needed to heal past hurts and speed up the process of growth in a way that is productive and meaningfully supports your bond.

Conflict And Disconnection Are Normal And Reconcilable Realities Of Long-Term Partnerships

We rely on our relationships to provide a sense of safety and security in our lives. When disconnection occurs, it can send the whole relationship dynamic awry, eventually creating unhealthy patterns that harm our partner, our attachments, and ourselves.

So, what causes disconnection in the first place? Couples of all backgrounds and orientations encounter all kinds of challenges that put stress on the relationship. Some of the most common issues that drive my clients to seek couples counseling are:

  • A lack of clear, healthy communication

  • Discrepancies in sex and desire

  • Financial concerns

  • A significant stressor or life transition

  • Individual mental health concerns that impact the relationship (i.e., anxiety or ADHD)

  • Betrayal

  • Addiction (which may include substance abuse, sex/porn addiction, or gambling)

  • Unmet needs from childhood and an inability to form secure attachments

Beyond relationship-specific struggles, there are additional external factors that can put pressure on the relationship. Couples who are parents may feel incapable of performing at the same level they did before kids came into the picture. And cultural expectations—especially as they relate to physical appearance—can put strain on each partner’s confidence and sense of self.

None of us are given the tools to embrace differences, and it requires a lot of skill to love ourselves and our partners at the same time. Couples therapy is an opportunity to learn and apply such skills through actively practicing change, insight, listening, and self-examination in ways that support your relationship and the people in it.

 

Couples Therapy Is Individualized To Each Partnership’s Needs

I’m Paula Jean Adams, and I am so glad you’re here. I know your relationship is suffering, but I have dedicated my career as a therapist to helping couples overcome the stress and trauma at the core of their dissatisfaction. I work with couples from all walks of life, including those who identify as LGBTQIA+.

My practice is a safe space to discuss difficult topics and learn new ways of communicating. Collaborating together, you will create a plan that prioritizes your relationship, honoring both your and your partner’s needs.

My Approach

Our sessions together will focus on tools rather than conflict. I am not here to referee, pathologize, or litigate missteps in the relationship but rather to act as a neutral, supportive force in guiding you and your partner toward a more harmonious path.

I do this by incorporating somatic—or body-based—methods that allow you to deepen awareness and heal trauma at the source. In addition to mindfulness-based exercises that will help you become present and grounded in challenging discussions, couples therapy is likely to incorporate:

  • The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy (also known as the Bader Pearson model) – comprised of the three pillars of differentiation, attachment, and neuroscience, this approach teaches concrete skills for identifying and processing emotions in a healthy way.

  • Terry Real’s relational model – combines elements of communication, self-regulation, and family-of-origin intervention to uncover core issues and foster empathy between partners.

  • The Gottman Method – a highly structured approach to couples therapy that teaches about “The Four Horsemen” of relationship conflict (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) to open up new, healthier pathways toward friendship, shared goals, and effective communication.

For couples interested in concentrated therapy to address pressing concerns, Couples Intensives are available through my practice. Read here to find out more.

Therapy Is For Healing, Not Fixing

It’s normal to fall into a rut with your partner. It’s normal to have conflict but not have the skills needed to heal the relationship. I’m here to help you overcome your hurdles together in service of a deeper, more intimate connection.

Still Unsure If Couples Counseling Is Right For You?

  • Time spent in therapy will vary depending on presenting concerns and goals, but most couples should expect to commit to at least 10 to 15 sessions. Intensives are also available for those looking to expedite the process.

    As for the cost, my rates begin at $150.00/hr and may be higher depending on the type of service provided. If cost is an issue, keep in mind that some insurance companies cover couples therapy. Contact your provider directly to find out more about your out-of-network benefits.

  • As a trained, experienced couples therapist, my only expectation for you is to commit to this process. Therapy requires hard work and can be painful at times, so it’s essential that you and your partner both are committed to the healing process.

    Part of this process will involve at-home assignments and practicing skills outside of the session. This is meant to reinforce the progress you make together while inside the therapeutic space.

  • It’s important to work with an experienced, credentialed couples therapist. Oftentimes, a therapist’s focus and trainings are included on their website. I invite you and your partner to explore sites together to see how you feel about each therapist’s method and approach. You also want to consider if a therapist specializes in betrayal trauma, LGBTQIA+ couples counseling, or any other concentration that applies to your situation.

    While it’s essential to maintain an open heart and mind throughout this process, you ultimately have to listen to your gut! The right therapist will make you feel seen and supported—both as individuals and as a couple.

  • I operate from the premise that I want you and your partner to stay together. That said, if you decide to break up or separate, couples and marriage counseling can be a valuable opportunity to end the relationship in a way that mitigates emotional harm and pain.

    Therapy can also help ensure that you won’t engage in the same patterns moving forward, setting you up for success in all of your current and future relationships.

There Are Solutions To The Problems You Face As A Couple

Your relationship isn’t broken—you just need new tools for communication and intimacy. Couples therapy through Adams Couples Counseling and Trauma Recovery can offer you the skills and perspectives you need to heal your relationship.

For more information, contact me.

 

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